New things are always something to be explored. That is sort of a universal truth with me. So, what does this mean, or do I ever follow through on explorations? Honestly, it can be pretty difficult for me to break outside of my "comfort bubble." Most people do not believe me when I say I am shy. Think about that for a moment. I love to talk to people. I love being around people. Have you ever heard of an introverted extrovert.
So, being the kind of person that loves people, I also like to control my interactions. But we all do that. Anyway, one topic I like to bring up around friends and family is the idea of a fatal flaw. We all have though of our flaws in one way or another, we all know we have them. And if you don't think you do... well, let's just say that could be the flaw? Mine? I want to be loved by anyone and everything.
I love people, and love to talk to them, but there are very few people that I feel comfortable enough to share my deep, dark feelings. There is probably only one person I can say literally anything to and I won't be judged, ridiculed, or made fun of. Granted, thinking that saying what is on my mind will make things bad for me might just be part of my confused mind. If anyone is wondering, it is the sister person standing in the middle, and her nicknames from me include Suz, Suzbucket, and Susieoozieanne. (I think I have her listed as Suz in my phone.)
Insecurities seem to be creeping in. How many people here can relate with randomly feeling awkward or wondering why you are talking about something? Maybe I am complaining, but it gets tiring when you have people who may or may not be friends and family saying you are awkward, or talk too much, or say what is on your mind too much. To be fair, I probably don't even say half of what is on my mind.
Nobody wants to feel attacked. Too often we find ourselves being wronged, or we feel hurt for one reason or another. Because of who I am, and things I have experienced, I feel this far too strongly at times. But when I can find a friend that doesn't make me feel like a child or judged as an irresponsible whatever, that person becomes a treasure. We might not keep in touch as much, life happens. People get married, have kids, go to new places, but they remain in our hearts and minds... hopefully. By the way, I don't know if my friend Kevin will ever see this blog post, but he is one of those people that I know will always be there if I need help.
So, here's to those who love and care.