Friday, March 21, 2014


Confession: My greatest fear is drowning.  

Though I’ve never actually experienced anything close to drowning, the event  haunts my dreams.  It starts with the last gasp and gulp of air, and you give all your exertion to kicking and flailing; trying to propel yourself back to the surface.  Fatigue quickly sets in, leaving your body’s alarms screaming.  You must get out!  You must find a way to resurface!  But there is so much bringing you down… fatigue, pressure, not even knowing which way is up any more… And then there is the pause, the silence… and you know it’s coming.  The last watery breath, and then… I wake up from the dream.

At this point I have yet to wake up.  
I am flailing and my mind, body, lungs, everything is screaming of air!  
For reprieve from the floundering.

The more I dive into my topic, the more things jump out and me and beg me for attention.  With every new drop of information pooling together I hadn’t realized that I had been creating my own demise.  
I feel that the surface is close, but I don’t know what direction to orient myself to get there.  

I have two competing thoughts.  One I feel is more practical, the other more intriguing… and I hate to admit it, but I think it’s about time that practicality wins.  

I have been switching between a feministic approach of my two books and more generally defining what a good book is generationally speaking.

This was my thesis and opening paragraphand this is what it might be (most likely) changed to.  (still a rough draft...) 

I’m asking for honest, direct and constructive feedback! 
Between two exams, another paper and wedding planning I’m trying not to drown.  I’ve been trying to rely on my own strength to resurface, but now it’s time to reach for a life- preserver… if anyone is willing to throw one out to me.  


  1. Drowning is a great way to describe what you're going through. You are not alone, trust me. It's good to see that you are at least wrestling with your topics because it shows that you're going somewhere. I would say just a breathe and let your ideas speak for themselves. Try to figure out which one naturally speaks the most to you and go with it. I think it's better to genuinely write something than to force a strong argument. Also, which I could help with your other responsibilities but good luck, you can do it :)

  2. I think we're all struggling with this part of the paper. :) I liked the "what it might be" version of your paper, the one that talks about why people would come back and re-read a book, because that's what I think I want to write my essay on. However, I believe the first one is more practical (the one about feminism); in other words, I think the feminist one has more material and in-text evidence, so that paper might be easier to write.
    You could make either idea work. :) You can do it!